“Help, I’m in love with someone else! What can I do now?”

Sometimes I get this question from my clients in my coaching practice.

Namely, it can happen in your life that you fall in love with someone else, even if you are married or you already have a relationship.

The other person you fall in love with may also already be in a relationship.

 Should this happen, know that this point could become a crossroad in your life. Many people who experience this situation often get confused and don’t know how to solve this puzzle.

 Oftentimes people don’t want to lose their marriage or their existing relationship, because then much that is good can be destroyed, especially if there are still children involved in the house. And sometimes when the crush is from both sides, people blindly choose to continue with the new partner without using their common sense.

So, many people experience this crossroad of YES or NO and who to move forward with in their lives.

Especially if people have long-term relationships in which other priorities are more important than the attention for each other and if the challenges are not resolved positively, there is a real chance that the one or the other partner can fall in love with someone else.

Then people are confronted with these feelings of being in love.

Because falling in love is something that happens to you and there is little you can do about those feelings at that moment.

When you fall in love, you just want to be close to the person you’re in love with. This is how our human nature works.

If the crush is not reciprocated or the circumstances do not allow it, this can be very painful.

Furthermore, if people are already in a relationship, they quickly feel guilt and shame.

I want to tell you that if you fall in love with someone else while you are already in a relationship, it is a sign that certain needs that you have in your own relationship are not being met.

Then you need to look at which needs in yourself  have been suppressed. Because falling in love happens between people who very unconsciously have the same lack, so they have the same need that has been suppressed.

Namely when this crush is reciprocated, you feel seen and satisfied in your needs by the person  you have fallen in love with.

If you want to stay in your existing relationship, then it is wise to investigate what is missing in your life. Try to examine your wishes and your desires. When you understand this about yourself, it is wise to discuss this with your existing partner.

Also know that falling in love is a very pleasant feeling. You can feel the crush without taking any action in that direction.

People often think that if they fall in love with someone else, they should do something about it right away.

But this is not  the case.

If you have built a live with a partner already, you can try to examine which qualities of the other person you have fallen in love with you feel attracted to.

This may mean that these qualities in you want to be developed more.

If you can discuss things openly in the existing relationship, this can help you to get a new boost in your current relationship that will inspire and help your relationship to develop to the next level.

And if you can focus on strengthening the qualities that you are missing in yourself, you will grow in your personality power through this process.

Falling in love with the other person can therefore help you to become stronger in yourself and also to connect more with your existing partner, if you dare to discuss this together and pay attention to the needs that you want to get satisfied.

This is so rewarding, especially if you have kids, you have built a family, and you know you want to stay in your relationship.

If you can get the need satisfied at home, the crush will pass. And your love for your current partner will grow…!

Would you like to discover how to apply these things in practice, because everyone is off course unique and has unique qualities which want to develop, I invite you to book a free initial consultation with me and to investigate how we can work together.  

To your happiness!

Much love,


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My mission is to help people to develop their strongest qualities and bring out the best of their potential, relationships and work.

If you struggle, feel stuck or overwhelmed, I'm here to help

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