How can you build positive relationships? I often get this question from my clients and I want to share my answer with you.
We humans are social beings. And we develop in relationships with other people.
Some can easily make relationships, others have more difficulty with this. Today I want to share with you one way to build positive relationships.
Because this is an art in itself.
You see, we humans have different inner needs. In different situations we have different need which wants to get satisfied.
For example, we want to be seen, to be heard, to be listened to, to feel trusted, to be needed, to get right, to be touched, to feel appreciated, to be encouraged, to be taken seriously,… !
Everyone is unique and everyone has her/his own unique needs.
But in each of us there is one need that runs like a thread through every situation and that wants to get satisfied.
This is our child’s inner need that has not been satisfied in our upbringing in the way we needed that then.
For example, my strongest child’s inner need is to be loved. I was always loved for my achievements and my results, but not for who I am as a person.
My man’s inner need is to be approached gently. He likes people to approach him tactfully.
Some want to be seen, others want to get compliments, some want to feel trusted or to be encouraged, some want to be taken by the hand, others want to feel that they are number one, or to be celebrated or felt in their emotions…
To build positive relationships with others, you need to be able to satisfy their psychological inner needs.
If you can do this, you will really get friends for life!
Because everyone is human and wants to get her/his needs met.
If you can help people meet their needs, then you welcome people. Then you embrace them spiritually and then they start to trust you.
So, if you really want to create genuine positive, constructive relationships with people, ask yourself, “What does the other person need?”
And try to trust and act on the first thing that comes to mind.
By doing this, your answers will become sharper over time and with practice you will recognize people’s inner needs more quickly.
If you can satisfy people’s needs in a positive way, that gives them energy and people just want to be around you.
In this way you contribute to someone’s well-being and you help the other person to feel a bit richer, as it were.
My tip is, make a list of 5 people who are important to you and try to ask yourself what their strongest psychological inner need is. Trust the first thing that comes to mind and try to act on it.
You are going to make a lot of people happy!
If you want to know more about how you can build a positive relationship with yourself and others, I invite you for a free initial consultation in which you can explore how we can work together further.