Today I want to share with you why in long-term relationships there is a huge chance that partners will lose the attraction to each other.
But before I get into this, let’s take a look at when our partners are the most attractive to us?
Why do we feel attracted to someone?
We feel attracted by someone’s strength, independence, freedom, beauty, respect, a sence of humor, life’s vision, life’s values , joy and enthousiasm…!
So, our partners are most attractive to us when they are independent, have satisfaction and fulfillement in their life and are truly empowered.
Then they are strong, self-reliant and full of self-confidence. And this is what is very attractive!
But as people start to live together and when they are together for a longer time, there is a big chance that a form of dependence will develop between the partners in the relationship.
This happens when people become afraid of losing love, or being judged negatively, or not being taken seriously and being rejected…
So, this happens when one is afraid of not being good enough for the other!
This makes one dependent on the consent or approval of the partner. Or on the partner’s initiative or on the partner’s reaction. Or on the partner’s financial resources.
This is the reason why people bend and adapt.
The moment you become dependent on your partner in any way, you go out of equality and also out of your power.
That’s when problems arise.
Namely, when you make yourself dependant from your partner, you unconsciously place yourself in a child role. Because dependence is a quality of the child. The adult in you is independent and knows how to act. But the child is the one who is afraid.
When you take the roll of a child, you put your partner in a roll of a parent/mother.
Then things go wrong.
For the equal relationship that has been between you in the beginning, has now become a child-parent relationship.
If your partner has to carry you in the energy, that feels heavy. Then he/she feels abandoned by you in the strength.
This is the reason why the attraction goes away and why partners break up if they don’t know how to change this.
My husband and me have also gone through this phase. And happily we came out stronger out of it.
Do you recognize this? In the relationships around you? Or in your relationship?
Then I invite you to contact me. Namely, you have to stand very strond in yourself if you want to have an equal relationship.
Many people talk about equality, but don’t know what it really means. I can help you to develop a strong connection with yourself, so that you can connect in your relationship from your a place of strength, independance and giving and not from a place of a needy child.
In a free inital consultation you can explore how we can work together, so that you can achieve this balance and build a strong fondation within yourself and in the relationship with your partner.
I want to invite you to raise your standards, because life is too short to compromise for less than what you could possibly create and enjoy.
And I believe in YOU.