How come people don't see me as I really am?

Oftentimes I meet people who don’t feel seen or understood by the people around them. They ask themselves: “How come people don’t see me as I really am?”

And I like to answer this question for you.

You see, we people have different inner needs.

In different situations we have different inner needs which we want to get satisfied. Usually this happens on a very unconscious level.

One of the needs that is very strong in most people is the need for acknowledgment and validation.

I’ve realized that  95% of people have this need to be validated that they are ok and that they are doing well. 

Everyone has their own specific way how he/she wants to be validated.

Some want to be seen, others want to be listened to, some want to get compliments, others want to be applauded, some need to feel that they are right, others want to feel important…!

We are alle unique and get validation in different ways.

The need for validation is fine as long as you don’t become dependent on it. And as long as it doesn’t harm you.

The danger lies in pleasing. Because when you please you suppress your own free will to follow the will of someone else who, in your eyes, has a higher authority then you. This  damages your self-confidence and your well-being.

Sometimes people can really suffer deeply, if they feel not seen or not understood by people who are very important to them over a long period of time. If this need to be seen or to feel understood is not satisfied over longer time, people can experience deep disappointments and even become bitter from inside.

If you have this need for validation or confirmation, I want to make something clear to you.

And that is: think carefully about who do you want to be seen or understood by.

Because we humans are born with different personal power.

We are all equal, but not the same!

How come people don’t see me as I really am? | Natasha Martinoska | Resultaat Life Coach | Robbins-Madanes trained coach

Some are born with the personal power of a thimble, others with the personal power of a coffee cup, still others have the personal power of a glass, or a big vase, or a large vessel…

You can only feel seen or understood by people who have the same personal power as you do or are more developed than you.

But those who have a smaller personal power than you cannot recognize you in they way you are. They can not SEE you!

You can forever long for their recognition, but this is wasted energy.

So beware of what expectations which you unconsciously have from people. And try to see people in reality and not through the prism of your expectations.

The best for YOU is to give this acknowledgment and appreciation to yourself. And not to make yourself dependent in relationships with others.

Not everyone can see you and understand you because of the differences in their personal power.

Try to remember as well that others are not always busy with you. They have their own things to deal with.

You are the one who needs to see yourself, to acknowledge yourself,  to encourage yourself, to have compassion for yourself when things don’t go well…

So, the first person who needs to to see you is YOU!

Because when you see yourself, others will SEE you too.

This is a spiritual law.

If you feel the need to get to know yourself better, so that you can understand yourself and others more, I would like to help you to own your personal power by clearing all the psychological obstacles, so that the light in your heart can fully shine. From within.

As a result you’ll free up tons of energy to work towards your goals and your mission.

In a free initial consultation you can discover how we can work together. Let’s talk!

Much love, 


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My mission is to help people to develop their strongest qualities and bring out the best of their potential, relationships and work.

If you struggle, feel stuck or overwhelmed, I'm here to help

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